10 Things You Don't Say At A Job Interview

1. I know my resume doesn't make much sense but I can assure
you either does my life!

 

2. So what your telling me is that if I were to get one of my
fingers cut off in that big machine over there, I would be able stay home and
still receive my pay checks?

 

3. So what is your company policy about having sex with the
other employees... do you encourage it?

 

4. It's a good thing I got this interview, the utilities got
cut off and I haven't had a shower for almost three weeks.

 

5. Say...you're pretty hot! Do the other female bosses look
as good as you do.

 

6. So what your saying, is that if I were to borrow some of
the stores products, even for a week or two, you would consider that stealing?

 

7. I would just ask that you don't call any of my
references... or my last five employers!

 

8. Does your company offer a drug treatment program, if I
decide to start taking drugs.

 

9. When you call any of my three references on my resume, you
will get a switchboard. Just ask for "Solitary" and get one of the guards to
drop a message.

 

10. I realize it seems odd that I have had only one job
lasting only three days in forty-one years, but honestly nothing really jumped
out at me!